Borrowing Sense
by royslady51
Summary: This is for all the times you just wanted to SMACK him. I'm a grumpy old woman, not some sweet young thing. What you see is what you get. Flames and Complaints will be ignored or reported. AU/AR, Language. Rated M for future chapters
1. Cats

Summary: New twist on a completely unashamed MarySue. This is for all the times you just wanted to SMACK him. I'm a grumpy old woman, not some sweet young thing. What you see is what you get. Flames and Complaints will be ignored or reported as appropriate. AU/AR

_**DO NOT**_

Yeah, first things first...I dreamed his coming. I dreamed for months...thought that's all it was, you know. Dreams...cuz everyone knows that the Doctor ain't a real person, right? And here I am a bit over halfway through my fiftieth year, so fairytales are something I outgrew a _very _long time ago. I lived with my cats in a tiny trailer just thirty feet long and less than ten feet wide, on a monthly stipend and managed to make it from month to month. I siphoned internet from the nearby motel with the owner's permission...she gave me the network code, after all, and pretty much surfed the net all day. Disabled, that's me. Nothing much to do especially in the winter months, with my joints the way they are from the hips down. Hard to move and often painful.

In the summers, once the hot sun has sorted me out a bit, I garden...but winter cold tends to pin me down and I don't go out much. Oh, I'll admit, I was bored...seriously. And I was just getting over a cold when I heard it...and looked up cuz you don't watch the shows I do on Netflix and not know what _that _sound is...

I remember shaking my head and checking to see if I'd left BBC America on or Netflix...or Hulu. None of the above. I didn't bother to get up, why would I? Clearly, I was hearing things and I resolved to have my ears checked. I also checked my dosage list and made sure I hadn't taken too much cold medicine...or two doses, too close together. I hadn't, but just to be on the safe side, I put the cold medicine away and just put out cough drops: Fifty is too young to go _that _crazy, y'know?

But, I could still hear it and more to the point, the view outside the trailer windows on all sides..._changed _from grass and trees...and the next RV over, to..._oh no_. If this turns out to be (as it probably is) a dream, I'm going to be so ticked off...I wasn't _that _bored and I _need _my sanity.

****WHO****

When the knock on the trailer door came, I was annoyed so I'd already decided to let all the cats out. All? Thirteen...that's one adult, seven 8-month-old kittens and ten _more_ 3-month-olds. I don't care how much energy he has, _that _many babies will keep him hopping. So I opened the door and stepped carefully down...didn't wish to fall or something...and all of them sorta flew out the door after me.

Must admit, that gaping jaw of his was _funny_.

"Whaaa?" He spluttered. "You're not Martha."

"Oh geez...the stories weren't kidding about your driving were they? You poor bastard, you just let thirteen cats...all kittens but one, loose in here. Oh...oh dear..." I looked up, "They don't know that wires aren't _toys_...babies, see. Might want to consider making sure they can't reach any, dear." I told his ship.

"Oh. Yeah, that would be a problem...how did they disappear that fast?" Tenth asked, looking around. One or two of the smallest was still there and Diva was only just then coming out of the storage compartment where she kept her own litter, but Scribe, the Catpack and most of the little ones had wandered off.

I shrugged. "They're _cats_. All you need to know really. It's just how they are." I reached over to the propane tanks and worked the cover off. "Don't need these on in here, do we? Propane."

He eyed me a bit, then shook his head and I turned off the tanks. He was still looking me over...with the Sonic by then and finally sighed. "She picked you up because of that massive snowstorm that's coming and your lack of health. The TARDIS says she's got a room for you, gardens for the cats...and that she's already seen to their parasites.

"Both adult females are pregnant."

"_Ah_. That's a lot of cats."

"Yep. Most of them will want to cuddle...the average adult cat has about the same intelligence as a human child of about three years old...and the same level of innocence, obviously, the babies have less intelligence and more innocence. Translation, be nice." Still holding the crank to the hitch end, I leaned down carefully and grabbed Cuddles, whom I handed to him. "This is Cuddles. Loves to snuggle that little one...and she won't read anything other than that into it." I smiled. "Your's. I'll give you the smallest of the babies and keep the older ones. That should give you _plenty_ to do...even you can't imagine all the things those little animals can get into. Just have the ship keep all the cats, regardless of age, out of the console room and you'll be a lot happier. Just prevent them from going in there at all, would be best."

"_Okaaaay_." He decided not to argue with her...and it was a cute little thing. "Now we start figuring out what to do with you. You can't run, can you? At all."

"No, sorry. I think the word '_disabled_' means about the same to you as to me."

"Yeah. Don't worry, I'll look after you."

"And I'll let you use my common sense in return. You need it. Badly."

He looked at me sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Have you considered trying to find out when Pete's World split from this one, going back before that by a few hundred years to give yourself a safety zone, then fetching her from _that_ point...since if you do it in the right sequence this fine lady should be able to handle the other vortex...and just in case, ask her to grow a secondary electrical system that _can _and _then _try it?"

He stared at me for a moment then stated, rather hoarsely. "IDIOT, _me_."

"Well, as far as I know, you're _male_. It seemed pretty obvious to _me_, so...I think missing the obvious is just a _guy _thing."

"Oi!" He exclaimed, "And I thought _I _was rude! I am _definitely _male!"

"You sure?"

_**"OI!"**_

"Knew you were coming, you know. Dreamed it for months...I just didn't know you were a _real _person so I dismissed it. This is going to be..._interesting_. One thing you need to understand right from the git-go, and that's that I don't kiss ass...anyone's, even your's. Please try not to annoy me and I'll try not to show you that in the rudeness arena, you are an _amateur_."

"What?"

"2013 _American_, here. You picked me up on November 23rd, actually."

"Ah. Well, let's get you settled." He stayed pretty close cuz I was moving pretty slow, making the 'mrwoow' sound that called my cats to me...and he watched them come and then follow. "Amazing. Do you even know what you're saying?"

"Nope. Just the sound I use to call cats with. It works, same as breaking up dominance displays with a snarl and growl to remind them I'm the queen cat works."

"Huh."

"She's looking for you, you know. This you. And if you stayed in London for a few weeks, maybe at UNIT, she might be able to get to you. So far she's found mostly the babies...though she did drop in on 9th once...remember that now?"

"_Yessss_...oh, poor Rose."

"The stars over there are going out, see. The Silence...you know what that is?"

"Yeah."

"It's coming here too, so if you can head it off here, it'll stop there. She just wants to come home...home isn't Earth, it's not London...it's YOU, knucklehead. So far as Rose is concerned, YOU are her home. Wherever you are, is home for her. That means that if she isn't right where you are, she's homeless."

"Rose." He shuddered.

"I'll tell you what's going on in her head, bet that's why your ship grabbed me...even with the number of pets I've got." I told him. "On other hand, I'll rat you out to Rose just as fast."

"Time Lord, me."

"Yes...but you are male, aren't you? You _said _you were. Of course...you do lie...a _lot_."

"What? Of course I am! Why the hell would I lie about my _gender_?"

"Fully equipped...not a, uh, eunuch or a gelding...or something?"

_**"HELL NO!"**_

"Got a good supply of testosterone...or the equivalent?"

"Of course!"

I just smiled at him. "Then I'll rat you out, _accurately_, to Rose just as fast. I believe what the TARDIS wanted was a referee on the ground, so to speak."

"Sweet bloody HELL, I am in _so _much trouble..."

"Oh, and Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"If I find out this is _just _you yanking my chain, you'll be in so deep you'll never get out. Human or not, even crippled as I am, I can make a nasty enemy cuz I pull nasty pranks when you least expect them, so don't _do_ that to me. I have no problem embarrassing you in as _public _a fashion as possible." I took a deep breath, then continued, "Moving right along...that Prof. Yana character you wanted to go see?"

"Yeah?"

"Let him be. He's finally safe to be around."

"What?"

"Seriously, if you go over there, I'll have the TARDIS land on him and put him in a room with no doors."

_"What?"_

"That's all I'm going to say...and if he's _really_ lucky, I won't ask her to drop him straight into a _live_ volcano. And yes, I'm _tampering_. Deal with it...cuz as long as I don't _tell _you what I'm tampering _with _you won't notice...cuz it's this you's future. Course, _Eleven _might show up and complain...but that's older you and I'll make _sure_ to get in your face first."

_**"Crap." **_Was all he said as he settled her safely into a seat in the library and then went to direct his ship into the far distant past of Earth.

****tbc****


	2. Human Instinct

Summary: "We need to talk...or rather, Doctor, just shut and listen. There's a few things you've gotten wrong and need to be corrected on..._then _you can put that big assed brain to work, _M'kay_?"

_**Human Instinct**_

I _love _the TARDIS' research facility, I really do. I'd been checking on something while he installed a second wiring system to handle Pete's World and now I dropped a huge pile of case studies in front of him...lots of tests and the results.

"I dunno where you people got the notion that there's no such thing as a human telepath...but maybe that's just ego. We need to talk...or rather, Doctor, just shut up and listen." I nudged a couple of cats off the library couch and sat down. "Human telepathy never shows as anything other than latent if it occurs alone. Evolution has apparent selected for it to be paired with an active gift of Empathy to bring into active status. If active empathy isn't present, the telepathy will never activate. I would venture to suggest that most if not all of your past human companions...not me, actually, cuz I had the TARDIS look, but most, had active empathy and a bit of effort on your part...and some training..."

He stared at me, jaw sagging and eyes filled with shock.

"You were looking for the wrong gift. Had you searched for Empathy, you would located both. But Empaths, according those studies, hide themselves. They have to, if they don't want to wind up in a government facility somewhere. So, they won't be easily located. Anyway, that's the first thing. The second thing is...do you even know what it is that humans usually call common sense?"

"No, but it works amazingly."

"Yes. It's a semi conscious form of instinct. That's why it's more likely to be drawn on after a sleep period...sleeping allows a human brain to idle, to analize, to pull from the subconcious where we store every little bit and byte and bring it to the attention of the conscious mind. It's also the time when the micro level of physical repairs and cell replacement takes place. If you wish to continue to complain about how much I sleep, I will require of you that you teach me how to draw on my ID at will for information. Otherwise, keep your trap shut about it."

He gulped a little, not wanted to start off another round of pranks. Pink hair and a white tutu in front of UNIT wasn't something he wanted to repeat...but that was the only thing the TARDIS had made available for him when he got out of the shower two linear weeks past. Shirt, suit vest, suit jacket, converse, socks...no pants, just the tutu. He'd absolutely _ruined _the lace...she hadn't been kidding about pulling nasty, publically embarrassing pranks. He hadn't really meant to hurt her feelings, but there was no more talk about _rehoming _her.

"Anyway, any progress?"

"Yeah." He sighed, "Yeah. I've got a secondary console room set up for the other vortex and the wiring for Pete's World is nearly done."

I grinned at him, he had kittens draped all over him.

"What?"

"Oh, just remembering your reaction to Coo's first name."

_**"OI!"**_ He looked disgusted. "I do not coo. Doctor _Coo _indeed, I can't believe you named him after me and then ruined it like that."

"It's cute."

"It's revolting."

"It's _adorable_...just like that bouncy Bambi thing _you've _got going on."

"Bouncy BAMBI?" He sounded appalled. "Bambi is a girl's name."

"Think 'Walt Disney."

"_Oi_." He sighed the word, sounding like he was in pain.

I just smiled innocently at him as I got up to go to the kitchen while he sat there and spluttered. "Don't suppose it ever occurred to you to ask me how I know all this stuff enough to tamper with it seeings as you never met me before you had the TARDIS pick up my trailer...fortunately for you I already gave that information to your TARDIS." And then I walked out of the room without another word to him, though I did comment to the ship that she should've raised him to think _constructively_, and do it a lot more _often_. "He needs to start by actually turning his brain _on_."

"**OI! **I _can _hear you, you know! Superior hearing, me!"

_****WHO****_

"Where'd you get _that _thing?" He was setting the ship in order for the move into Pete's World from before the time when the universe's split off from one another. The ship had not long since told him that the second system was ready and would work fine for her in the other universe.

"Asked the TARDIS for it." I told him, snapping the safety straps, anchored to a new padded seat where the jumpseat used to be...there were two of them, the other intended for Rose, into position. They would safely support and hold passengers and rode on simple air ride bags. I'll let _you _get flung all over the place if you want, but if I do that, _every _time you move her you'd have _me _in the medbay afterward before you'd be able to do anything else. And I don't really want broken bones that often...or at all, for that matter. So in the interest of preventing any bodily harm to myself, a five point harness and a neck brace to prevent whiplash seemed..._wise_. Common sense, Doctor...we've discussed it before. Humans have it, Time Lords don't...that's why you've been using mine, remember?"

"Smartass."

"Not this time, what part of 'broken bones' did you miss? You're the one who did my health profile...what do you think is going to happen if I hit the floor...or the rails, or the wall that hard?"

"Sorry. You're correct."

"Yeah, we need to discuss that."

"What?"

"I'll think about it and let you know."

"You really do drive me nuts, do you know that?"

"Yeah. I _do_."

"Oi!"

"Okay, Tenth, let's go get your girlfriend."

"She's not..."

"Yeah, she is. And don't give me that tired old line about 'domestic SHALL be avoided'...you got domesticated the second you took her hand at Hendrik's and you know it."

"That...really drives me crazy...and why won't my TARDIS tell me how you know all this?"

"Because some of it has already been prevented. The worst parts, the most painful things aren't going to happen." She told him soberly. "I will tease you, drive you crazy...but if I can prevent harm to you, I will. But I won't tell you how I know because you tend to over react and interfere in things meant for your good...and not in good ways."

"Um."

"Go find her."

"Yeah." He hesitated and then he began to move in that Time Lord Ballet around the main console, keeping an eye on the secondary one and moving to it when it lit with vortex energy for the first time and his main one powered off. This time, the transition was smooth...well, as smooth as it ever got, anyway. "I have a lock on her TARDIS key." He sounded enchanted as he sent us hurtling toward his great love, his Rose.

"Good boy..." And I reached over to pat the wall. "Good girl. Pat him on the head for me?"

"Oi! You've got my _TARDIS _giving me condenscending head pats!" He complained a few seconds later.

"Thank you, Darlin', that's just the effect we needed. His ego is big enough, we don't need it growing."

"Oi...oh...I can see her...and she's...looking back at me. Got this huge smile and her key is in her hand." He smiled hugely as the TARDIS began to materialize. "It was a tremendously good idea, Jane. No harm to the walls...just had to go the long way around."

"I'm going to my room," I said as I disengaged the harness. "And give you two some privacy." I told him quietly, then left the console room quietly.

_****TBC****_


	3. The Meddler

Summary: Wherein the cranky grandmother meddles...and explains a few things.

_**The Doctor, The Rose and The Meddler**_

About four hours later, by her wristwatch, the Doctor and Rose Tyler entered the kitchen, sniffing eagerly...I cook quite well as he very well knew by this point. Meats and veggies anyway. I do not do cakes or pies or such things...nor do you want me to. My pies are little more than cement frisbees and my breads and cakes can be used as wheel chocks for years. I get my bakery goods from a bakery...ah well. But this was what we had been calling Earth Day...Earth foods on the table all day. I didn't do the English version of chips but I did do homefries...and tonight I did the cheesy version, with smoked Gouda, which is excellent, by the way.

I could tell from the look on Rose's face she'd never seen 'chips' done that way before. "Taste it before you complain, youngun." I told her and then to the Doctor I simply said, "Hickory Smoked _Gouda_."

"OH...oh yum. See what you've done? I'm _salivating_."

"_Idiot_." I told him before I grinned at Rose, "While I'm aware of his actual age, when he _behaves _like a child, I treat him like one. I'm Jane, nearly 51, crippled in hips and knees, _can't _run. He's doing good to get me up past a medium walk and it doesn't last long. I _don't _leave the TARDIS...at all. She takes _very _good care of me, though. With me I brought nineteen house cats, five are feral kittens..._little _ones, two of the older ones are pregnant and there are 12 more tame kittens, two separate generations, one is an eight month old tuxedo male I named Doctor Coo...months before _he _decided to pick up my trailer with the TARDIS...while thinking I was someone else, I am a Disabled American and my job here is as a _Time Lord Babysitter_."

"OI!" He protested, though Rose had thrown her head back and was laughing her ass off.

"He will not be getting away with his former shenanigans, trust me on that. He claims he is a fully normal male, which I will make sure he proves to you...and we _all_ already know where your loyalty lies. I'm on your side, Rose...and he's already learned not to annoy _me_."

"Oi, you're not going to..."

"Tell her about the tutu?" I asked in a falsely innocent tone as I handed her a picture. "TARDIS took _that_ just for you, from her exterior cameras...isn't he _cute _like that?"

_**"OI!"**_

"Oh, yes, I've given him a nickname...for that Narnia-ish 'startled faun' expression he gets."

"What?" She sounded intrigued.

"Bambi."

"You _didn't_?" She started to giggle.

"Dumb shit answered to it...in front of _UNIT_...while wearing _pink_ hair and the white lace tutu...it was _hilarious_. Inside the TARDIS, _I'm the leash,_ you just concentrate on making him happy. Outside, when you're doing all running stuff...just remember to remind him that you _will_ tell on him to me. My methods are different from your mother's, I don't hit him, for one thing, but...I think I'm effective." I turned to pin him to his seat with a well practiced Look. It was the same Look I'd used on children before, to very good effect...and it worked just fine on him as long as he wasn't pissed off. Rose would deal with him when he was.

"I can do that."

"I know. See, I'm from somewhere, where he and you and everyone he's ever known are a TV show. I'm a middle aged _fangirl_. He didn't notice or if he did he was so preoccupied solving a problem that should have been _obvious_..."

"Oi, do you have to keep rubbing it in?"

"Megawatt brain and mostly going to waste...he's just got to remember to turn it _on_."

He pouted at me.

"Yeah, that doesn't work as well on me. You don't want _my_ opinion of grown men that _pout_. It ain't pretty, Bambi. Save those for Rose...she thinks it cute. _I_ think its rather _effeminate, _particularly on a man with a build as..._petite,_ I suppose is a good word, as your current body is."

"_**OI!"**_

"Doctor? What is she talking about?"

"You can tell her now _or_ after supper _or_ I'll tell her in the morning. Either way, she's gonna be told _so you may as well_."

So he explained, flushing, finishing with, "So it took work, _yeah_, but it was pretty simple."

"Actually, _Jack_ could've probably managed it with the right tech. A Time Lord's brain was not actually _required_ for this, um..._technique_." I told her bluntly.

She looked shocked, and I touched her arm to get her attention. "It's a guy thing. Like asking for directions...they always seem to want answers to be as complicated as possible. Mix _that_ tendency with _his_ ego? Look, aTime Lord he may be, but he's also a man. If you keep _that_ firmly in mind, he will confuse you far less often."

"Too true."

"Oi! Rose!"

"But, he has no common sense at all...so he's been using _mine_. I've got tons. Really, I _had_ to insist."

"Thank you, for keeping him sane."

"Now, I didn't say _that_...I just made sure I changed the _kind_ of crazy to something safe. He wouldn't be himself if he weren't a bit of a loon."

"Good point."

"Oi. What is this, Pick on the Doctor Night?" He rolled his eyes at the pair of grins he got in answer.

"Did manage to keep him out of trouble...for _months_, while he added that second wiring system and the mini console room off the main. He headed back past the split and did it there...nothing smarter than a mammoth on the surface then."

I let them wait until after supper, then looked at the Doctor until he finally looked at me. "Time for a serious, _serious_ question. No jokes, no fucking around. First, ask the TARDIS where she had to go to fetch _me_. Just get the answer."

He did so, then simply said _"Shit."_

"Yeah. Separate reality, same universe...she just didn't mention it. In _my_ reality, you don't exist..._as people._ You exist as fictional characters on a television show...named Doctor Who. That was the information I gave her...DVDs, television recordings downloaded from the web. That's why I don't want to go back. My reality is so very much poorer because you're not really there, either of you. Any of you. _I don't want to live like that._ Now, I've asked the TARDIS to check something and you, Doctor, need to get her findings. The question is, would it violate your timestream if I showed you a vital DVD that's _fiction_..._where it was made_...but factual _here_. Something that if you knew, it would shatter every barrier you hold between yourself and Rose. It's like a Disney film, where it was made..._just a story_. Where does the line fall? Can you watch it?"

_"Um."_

"It's on Eleventh's watch."

_"Ah."_

"But, it's copy-written by the BBC, I think from what little research I did that the copyright is still good _here_. That means, I _think_, that..."

"TARDIS says you're correct...the copyright _is_ recognized as good in this reality." He answered slowly. "It's still _technically_...fiction."

"It's already happened to you, it's something you, _this_ you, _Tenth_ you," I stressed, "Were an absolutely _**huge**_ part of...but...it has to be _your call_." I looked at Rose and smiled. "So were you, it's one of the things you took care while you held the vortex. Both Bad Wolf and Rose...who already loved Nine every bit as much as you, Ten. Bad Wolf's purpose was to save _you_...no matter the threat."

"It's already happened. Ninth's watch." He was gripping Rose's hand. "But it's fiction where it was made...as _entertainment_. Yeah, I _can_ see it."

"Good...Eleven may have a _fit_...but you let _me_ handle him. So long I never leave the TARDIS, I'll still be with you when you're him...he'll know better than cross me on something this important. This way, you can _both _go look at it, you and Rose."

"It?"

I handed him a DVD. "Watch the show. It's called The Day of the Doctor. It's the Fiftieth Anniversary Special...you've been entertaining humans on that show for fifty years...and I still like you better _this_ way. My person favorites were Four, Five, Eight, Nine and _you_." I told him softly. "You know, I bet that _early_ Eight...after Grace but before rest bullshit started, I bet he gave very best hugs of any of you."

"Why would...this him gives _excellent_ hugs." Rose was confused.

"_Empath_." I told her. "As Eight, he was a very, _very_ powerful Empath. That's why the Time War tore him up so badly and why it hurts so very much, even still. Nine had a lot of Empathy still active, not as much as Eighth, but...it was _active_. War Zones of any kind are the very last place you want to find an Empath. I'm so _very _sorry, Doctor."

He swallowed hard, then just nodded, "Thanks."

"Watch it together in a room too small to fit another person...or in _Rose's_ room...because Eleven won't take the chance that she's...less than decent."

"Yeah. True."

"Yeah, _he_ knocks."

"So...he _does_ learn?"

"Ah, Ten here, might have been hoping for a peek...he's still a _guy _Rose. And after this viewing you will be free to treat him like one."

As her door shut behind them, I looked up and suggested the TARDIS remove her door altogether...just in case. She did...just as footsteps came running up..."And don't give it back until after they've _shagged_."

"Oh shit. It's _you_. Thought I told you to stay put?"

"I did. This is me about three linear weeks after you grabbed my trailer as Ten. Or did you forget that as long as I don't leave the TARDIS, _at all_...I don't age? Always the same. So, for your information, you're in Rose's room _with_ Rose...I told Sexy to take the door away and not give it back until _after_ you've shagged her. You needed some privacy with her, you dingbat. They're watching a DVD...get your ass into the kitchen so I can feed you, you scrawny thing, _**if**__ you can remember how to turn your brain on long enough to __**find**__ it_."

_**"OI!"**_

_****TBC****_


	4. You Were Sorta Stupid When You Were Ten

Summary: Eleven has lunch and a talking to, since like most regenerations, he forgets the details of the last one as quickly as he can.

**You Were Sorta Stupid When You Were Ten**

"_Sit_."

"I don't have time for this...my Time Line is..."

"Being altered, _yes_, I'm aware of that. Who did you think was doing the tampering? You knew it at the time cuz I told to your face that I was tampering with you."

"Ah..._yeah_...so you did." He blinked at me.

"You'll have both sets of memories for a while. Take careful note of which memories are being removed...or did you really want to spend that much time in the Master's so-called 'care'?" I asked as I handed him eating utensils. "I asked the TARDIS to swing by close but _not_ land...so she could locate and remove Yana's watch. First chance she got, she dropped it into a live volcano."

"_No_. No I didn't. I can lose _that _without remorse. Thank you. He won't be a problem...ever again. He'll die as a human."

I slid a large platter laden with a thick Angus steak, with baked yams, _butter for those_ and an assortment of vegetables on the side...and my own blend of tea, Earl Grey with Chai, to the side. "Tuck in and keep your mouth busy chewing instead of talking, while I explain some things." And then I told him the same thing I had Tenth.

"He's _right_. Even though it's fact _here_, because it was fiction where you're from and the _copyright _still good here, he can see it. What was it?"

"Oh, just your recent adventure with 8.5 and Liz the first." Watching the jaw of the Eleventh Doctor sag until his chin hit his breastbone was worth it.

He put down his fork and stared at me. "You didn't...oh hell, you _did_...I have those memories, now."

"And since Ten can see it...I think Eight can too. Your most powerfully Empathic self needs to know...more than any one of you. Sure, Rose did a lot to stabilize Nine but what kind of relationship would be in play, if you met her when you yourself were reasonably sane...for you...and minus _that _particular guilt?"

He felt something twining around both ankles and looked down at the one kitten that as an adult cat plagued him more than any other. "Coo?"

"Well, he does rather like Ten, as well. That or he likes the little mouse-like _sounds _Ten makes every time he remembers Coo's first name..."

_**"OI!"**_

"Well, at the time, I still thought you lot were fictitious, you know...and a tuxedo cat looks like he's wearing a suit...and Ten was currently the Doctor, so...being that Coo kept doing cute things to make me coo _at _him...and from your reaction, I'm guessing he still does...and that Clara agrees with me."

Even as Eleven the notion still make the Doctor's expression rather revolted.

"Besides, if you're not careful, Rose will give you a pet name to the same effect, given how often I've caught you napping with kittens draped all over you."

"OI! YOU SET ME UP FOR THAT?!"

"It's no worse than the pink hair and the tutu was, is it?"

"Um. No...not at _all_."

"And if you'll answer to _Bambi_ in front of UNIT, I'm guessing you'll answer to just about anything she decides to call you."

"Uh..."

"Yeah. Thought so. Hell, it's just Rose, don't mind that much, do you?"

"No." He ducked his head, peering up through his lashes. "No, of course not."

"Just settle down and finish your dinner. You can't have really thought I'd change my mind and let you interrupt yourself during the good part? Not after all the effort I went to, to get your ship to dose you both with a suitably slow acting aphrodisiac."

_**"What?!"**_

"Jaract for her, Baacri for you. Won't force anything but your inhibitions..._well_..."

"Gone. Completely _gone_ by the time the movie was over...and knowing I had _not _destroyed my people..._well played_."

"Meh, you _needed _it and she'd waited more than long enough."

"True. Very true."

"And it was just the one time, to uh, _kickstart _it...and with the door gone..."

"Yeah. Sexy _told_ us the conditions you set to get it back...and Rose started laughing...and then said GOOD _really_ loud...and everything just..."

"Just?"

"Sorta...fell into place."

"Yeah. You know what?"

"What?"

"As Ten, you were easily the most _idiotic _smart man in creation. It's a damned good thing for you, that you always wind up so damned cute."

"OI!"

"Found Andy yet?"

"He supposed to be an AMY."

"Yeah...River and Rose in the same TARDIS, at the time, both with claim on you? And you wonder why I keep calling you an idiot? Andy and Rory are still a pair...but they're both Gay and there will not be a River in your life to complicate your life with Rose. How long should I wait to point out to Ten that I know for a fact she's still with you...and Twelve, for that matter?"

"And that Bad Wolf and effect on her aging? Not long. Give us a bit to get used to the, uh...um...new exercise program. OW!"

I'd smacked him across the back of his rather large head. "It's called making love to your lifebonded, you dork. I don't smack Ten because he's a bit too emo for that to work well, but I can see right now that I'm going to be smacking _**you **_rather a lot."

"Jane..." He paused, flinching. "I...can _hear_ them. And I'm getting the memories my Tenth is currently _experiencing_ as his Present..."

"Good?" 

He flushed, trembled and nodded jerkily. "Yeah." 

"Toe curling good?"

"Oh yeah."

"Then, I suggest get your own TARDIS then and go find your Rose...and settle your nerves." She paused. "Can you smell them too?"

"Uh, _yeah_..." He bolted awkwardly...it's difficult even for a Time Lord male to run with a hard on, after all...for the media room where he'd parked his older version of the same ship, wincing at her cackling behind him. She was _never_ going to let him forget this.

****TBC****


End file.
